Pain and a (Ship Wreck)

The tale of a man and his folly lost at sea in a tempest of imperfection, lost confidence, and enough remorse for a lifetime

Crashing down all around me
My feelings are like rubble in the city center
Tragic fortune has fallen fast
And my resolve’s not built to last

(The ship is pushed off course by the wind and waves
The crew is lost and they don’t know it
Land is near but not to be found
The ship will sink or run aground)

Speeding by when I’m not watching
Pain is my companion on this journey
Even though I travel alone and quiet
It wasn’t always quite this way

(The white caps tell of danger hidden
The sailors doom by maidens bidden
The rutter hard astern to pass
The crash like shattered bone and dermaplast)

There were better times and happier days
Long ago and maybe not really mine at all
Might have seen them flash in a nighttime sky
And hoped what I saw was meant for me

(Swimming for shore that’s not in sight
Fighting for life with all his might
Viscious death makes him wet
It’s not the water- but regret)

Anguish – Solitude – Remorse
All the waters have dried and the lake is barren
No more to give and no one to take
A heart of hope and stone about to break

(Water soaked and heavy laden
Siren call from fairest maiden
He follows her voice to deeper water
Face-to-face with Poseidon’s daughter)

No tears are shed the angel has fallen
No eyes to watch the dream is over
No words to say his hope is broken
His attention’s fake and patience token

(He no longer swims but is afloat bundled with his sins
Pushed by wave and wind
He hears a faint voice on the distance
But remembers he has no friends)

Moving on and moving faster
His dream has become a sad disaster
No longer servant or even master
Can’t you feel his peace destroyed?

(Take me, watery grave you are my friend
Drown me fast and make it end
Put me down were I belong
Fill my lungs with liquid punishment- end my song)

He won’t give- so take
Not one piece- so break
And get away from the whole in my heart
Your fingers tear it wide apart

(Memories pass before the flicker leaves his mind
Some are harsh and others kind
One stands out above the others
He has no sisters and no brothers)

Alone at last- he started like that anyway
By himself- another day
Built to last? Not today
Maybe tomorrow- filled with sorrow

(Dead at last, alone again
River crossed with one new friend
Coins in his hand to pay his toll
Will darkness even take his soul?)

Let me be alone with my mistakes
We keep each other fast and warm
Call each other familiar names
And embrace softly in our doom

(Rejected even after death
A common tale so we know the rest
Pity fallen on an empty field
A man without his sword or shield)

Mistake, my mistress and my friend
The only one I comprehend
She keeps the knife against my throat
The blood drops stain all my purest hopes

(Naked and alone
Words hold him in place
His own words he reads for
No one writes for him)

Dramatic words or heartfelt woes?
Passing memories or lifetime throes?
If he finds he knows she goes
Inside his heart where no one knows

(The bitter end starring hard
Like work when you are tired
His talent caught and mired
In human frailty and missed marks)

He won’t go and he won’t stay
He’ll just be something like a shadow
Of what he used to be
And it will be enough- he doesn’t want anything anyway

(In time he will be good once more
And in that moment he will realize
What he had lost
And weep all over again)

He will close his eyes to hide his tears
And forget the time to hide the years
And fake a smile to hold the fears
He won’t sound like himself- so get used to it

(Let me have a private shame
Read this poem- forget my name
Don’t offer kindness or ask for blame
From king to pawn in someone’s game
Don’t look at me- I’m not the same)

The sun was too bright anyway
So I’ll just stand in the shade

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Past Pandemonium

It’s been too long since the fire started to burn
It’s been so long I don’t know where to turn
Will you be there when the night starts to fall?
Will you be there when I need you most of all?

It’s past pandemonium when you call my name
Without your words on my ear life isn’t the same
Don’t stop looking for me to come
Don’t stop in case I am the one

There are rules that are given in life
Some you can and others you can’t ignore
Have we been down this road before?
And if we have, is this a different door?

Sleep…Baby…Sleep
Dream of how we used to be together
Before the rain started falling and life was just
Another front and Stormy Weather

I’ll braid your hair and try to make fourteen minutes work
I’ll hold you hand and carry your books
I’ll watch your eyes and hope to catch
A lover’s look and smile and the hope of love requited

I’ll hide my love behind Greek tragedy
And promise eternity in hopes you’ll come to me
I’ll launch poetic wonderment and call you Venus
I’ll use quantum theory to shrink the space between us

I’ll feel your loss when you’ve lost something
And I’ll cry when you lay awake at night
I’ll hope you love me and dream that we
Hold each other tight at night and in the light

I’ll write of one thousand ships
And beauty beyond compare
I’ll weave ringlets in your hair
With the purest lover’s care

I’ll follow and dance and sing to you
Watch you walk and sit under the moon
I’ll talk all night and swing next to you
There is nothing by your side that I won’t do

We are past pandemonium
And approaching sanctity with the stars
At light speed and holding hands
In a blur of gravity we become one

Mixed in myth and legend and lore
Composite love and hardened core
Divine intervention and collateral damage
With our love we break barriers and silences and awaken hopes

I’ve felt your touch when others couldn’t
And seen your face when others hadn’t
I’ve known your love when I probably shouldn’t
And I give my self when I said I wouldn’t

Turning left at uncertainty and pausing for life’s cross traffic
Looking at the scenery for landmarks familiar
Finding none and lost again
We’ll make it home but we don’t know when

Aphrodite would cease to be Aphrodite
And Paris would set Helen free
If that is what it takes alas
To keep you here with me
For we are past pandemonium

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